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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
Do you cry under water?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’ Gleams that untravell’d world, whose margin fades For ever and for ever when I move. How dull it is to pause, to make an end.....
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? because they instantly felt asleep when closing the eyes - just like a baby when its tired
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? it's called hearing because the court has to hear details not the accused
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? we want to be sure that theres nothin' left
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? good point...
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? because they can check the paint
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? new needles always come in sterilized
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? the original tarzan figure was a kid. kids often dont have a beard...
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? probably no flying object with a speed under 200miles/hour is worth hitting superman
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? safety first
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? origin of lisp is the german word "lispeln" spelled with an s
What is the speed of darkness? the same as the speed of light. the speed of light appearing is the same as light disappearing. the speed of light disappearing is of course the same as the speed of darkness appearing
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? hard to say but definitly too cold for shorts...
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? to help us with other things
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? they live longer. they dont want to give there partners the satisfaction of outliving them
Do you cry under water? do we pee underwater?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? the distance between moon and earth was the final distance luggage designers weren't willing to carry it
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? from time to time everybody wants to be on top. and then of course you wanna know who's beneath you
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’ Gleams that untravell’d world, whose margin fades For ever and for ever when I move. How dull it is to pause, to make an end.....